Since I have been working on the dissertation in much more earnest it is easier for me to write more in general. 2020 has started off with two blog posts. I always moan about how I intend to keep up the blog more regularly. Obviously I just need to shut up about it and do it. I realized that there are so many things worth sharing and that it does not take that much time to sit down and prepare them. This time I want to share two emails sent to me by Ben Lai. They are regarding the notes I sent him apropos of our 7th session together.
When Ben started working with me he was paddling with legs open, not looking down the line, and not functionally bending at the knees. He has come a long way in 7 sessions. I have had him ride all three CSC x Barahona Shapes boards — the orange 9’, the pink 8’6”, and the yellow 7’6” (pictured above). His board is pretty decent (and since it’s a Becker a good chance it was also shaped by Jose), but you all know how I like to see everyone with a little extra foam under them. The shapes I have chosen for the CSC quiver are designed to advance one’s surfing more rapidly than other equipment.
Ben jumping over the inside shore break on his first attempt to paddle out at Long Beach on the same day. He got swept down the beach shortly after this. Photo: Dion Mattison
On Ben’s 7th session I had him take out the 7’6” because the waves were a little bigger and I did not want him to have issues with pearling or having too much board when he got stuck inside. I knew it would be a bit of a challenge for him to paddle the smaller board, but he is a fairly light guy, so I was confident he would be able to figure it out. We started at Long Beach. It was chunky with a side shore ENE breeze. Tide was medium and there were a fair few waves coming through. He got denied on his first attempt to paddle out. As I watched him paddle I could see how the wide legs caused his weight to shift forward on the board and how it did not allow enough stability over the back of the board to secure the board under him. This made his arms have to work harder in each paddle stroke, and I could tell he was getting gassed. I started videoing him and telling him about it in the video. Then when he came in I told him in person: “Keep your legs together Ben. Squeeze your butt and drive your hips into the board so that you can let your arms have a break. They are working double time.” He did that on the next try and made it outside. Then he caught three waves.
There were some solid ones rolling through in Long Beach! Photo: Dion Mattison
When I went to paddle out with him the tide had gotten too low and the waves looked terrible. We made a last minute location change to Rockaway. Everyone drove their cars in their wetsuits. We made the right call! The waves were glassier and more lined up. The crowd was light, and we were stoked. It was still good size for an advancing beginner, and I know that Ben struggled to get in position out there. There was a lot of current running even for Rockaway. The waves were going sideways and the best ones were on the inside so you had to paddle a lot the whole session to find yourself in position. I took the Go Pro out, and Ben took off on this gem towards the middle of the session. I urged him to go, so he didn’t burn me. That is the difference between wave sharing and blatant burning. If someone cheers you to go in front of them, go! But do make the drop.
We were joined that day by Tommy — he also surfed Long Beach — and Kristin. We saw Rockaway regulars Sol, Evan, Juan, Freddy, and Jon in the water. They all seemed to be having fun and snagging some good waves. I was a little frustrated at how the tubes were pinching on me and the waves, while fun, lacked a lot of power. But this is the east coast after all. Below are Ben’s emails, my comments on them, and the video of that epic day:
Dion-
The only reason I made it back out in LB is your pep talk. I'm still amazed at how minor adjustments changes everything. It was a great and super fun day of learning.
I went out today for a really really amazing solo session. The lines were super clean and long this morning at 90th St. There were only 5 people out at 8:30am. Interestingly, your GoPro videos really helped me the most. For one, the commentary was great. Secondly, your first person perspective of riding the waves! This allowed me to picture myself on my own board and what I wasn't doing. I was noticing where your hands were and where your eyes were looking as you filmed yourself riding the waves. Plus, your body movements and how you were moving the board. (It made me realize how much I need to learn!) It's one thing to watch you riding from the beach but this perspective really made a difference for me today because I was able to more realistically mimic your positioning. Does that make sense?
I read your notes this morning before going out. I intended to really concentrate hard on back foot action and less bending/more hips. This coupled with a visual of your GoPro movements... I rode 3 waves on the upper half of the face all the way down the line and it was the best feeling. The feeling from the upper face is dramatically so much more exhilarating. Yeah, 3! The first one I figured it was luck and I'm still not sure I understand what happened but maybe I got lucky 3 times. It was amazing nonetheless. The waves got closeouty by 9:30 but I still capitalized on the practice session a lot. Plus, other things I kept in my head was you telling me to be under the lip, don't go unless it's scary, eyes down the line, don't look at the board, trust my popup... It's a lot, in case you didn't know. LOL
I think people should stop making the comparison to skateboarding and snowboarding because surfing is nothing like either. Those other two are about riding (or manhandling) your instrument over a static surface. You can ride ugly and be good. Surfing to me is like riding a Pegasus. The surfboard is the saddle on a gliding horse trying you flip you off its back.
Sorry for the long email. Just so stoked from these last few days!
I was so stoked to get this email. I told Ben that it made my day and asked whether I might be able to put it on my blog. To this he responded:
I forgot you had a blog. I very much like your end of the year entry. It was really informative and motivating. I really like to read things like that to help better understand what I am doing wrong or maybe 'am not doing wrong'. That it's all inherent to the difficulties of surfing in general and not necessarily that I suck. Kind of like how these surf memoir books are relatable only to good surfers and actually make surfers like me feel untalented. Sure, the story is interesting but even 'Kook' is about a dude who conquered surfing so in the end it feels like bragging. Most of us newbies can't relate to that because we haven't gotten anywhere near that point and probably won't. For example when you wrote how everyone was gassed, I liked that because honestly I thought it was just me. It really never occurred to me that anyone else was struggling. Even the simple statement of you telling me that the idea of "if it's not scary then it's not worth it" is priceless to me and marked a turning point in my mentality. When you get technical and say 'sit under the lip', 'catch the peak', 'wait for the curl' or whatever it doesn't register for me because honestly I'm only focusing on not getting crushed. I can empathize with the 'scary' idea because I was always so scared of getting eaten by the waves. Pushing our limits in surfing is about overcoming fear but there needs to be a gauge to that fear. I know that you allowing us to be out in those conditions meant that it was manageable for our level and not too dangerous. That's why the concept of 'oh, it's supposed to be scary' actually clicked. In my head I was like 'Ohhh, I'm supposed to chase the scary ones and sit where it's scary.' Now, I'm like, 'Oh dang, you look scary but fuck it, here goes!' I'm willing to bet that everyone sitting too far outside is because they don't understand how to interpret this scary aspect of surfing.
Maybe there should be a book where in the end the surfer just continues to suck and doesn't ride well but is at peace with their love of being in the water and will ride junky shit straight to the beach for the rest of their life. That's the majority of us after all. I guess there's a philosophical quandary to debate there! LOL Honestly, at one point I might have written that book but good thing I signed on with you because I see a different path. Not saying I will ever be the surfer I want to be but I feel something different happening. I hope Owa works out. I play basketball with him occasionally. He's a really good baller! I keep thinking about my drop at Rockaways in the last video at 3:38. Man, I want to redo that one so badly! But that's the dilemma, Pegasus isn't going to sit still.
I like that Ben took so much time studying the videos and the notes and then went and applied them to his surfing. It speaks volumes about the efficacy of this way of teaching surfing. But Ben, just so you and everyone else know, there is a book about a surfer that continues to suck. It’s called It’s Good to Suck At Something by Karen Rinaldi. I read the first 30 pages or so. I did laugh a few times. She has some great NY wit. But ultimately she had a really shitty surfing teacher/mentor in a 16 year old kid from the Jersey Shore. Karen only had the pushing style of lessons and was not taught surfing from the ground up from the start. She became obsessed all the same and now has a pretty established surfing practice. She still contends that she sucks. Nevertheless, like the rest of us, she continues to surf because surfing is such a complex and intense activity that engages one’s whole being and makes one feel a certain joy in living. But, as Ben seems to hint at in the email, it might be possible to suck less and have even more fun at surfing. This is what I believe and it is the foundation of my approach to life and to surfing. In fact I don’t really like the idea of sucking forever. I checked out Karen’s instagram. She isn’t looking down the line from the take off. If only someone would have told her that in the first place! Not looking down the line is the one of the main things that holds people back, and something I am currently writing about from a phenomenological perspective, and which I work on every day I do coaching. Sometimes I sit on the shoulder of waves students are taking off on and scream, “Look over here! Look at me!” This pulls their heads up and aims their eyes down the line, taking their focus off of the surfboard and the scary pit they see below them. It also keeps the head higher than the butt and opens up your shoulders so that your legs have room to land on the board. As Ben writes, when you do this you get into that upper third of the wave and the feeling is tremendous! What an achievement!
Rockaway session after Long Beach shut down and the Go Pro view that has been so helpful for Ben. This is the vision you want to see! See that line on the wave up to the left? That is “the line” you need to be looking at! Photo: Dion Mattison
I also appreciate what Ben says about surfing being nothing like skateboarding and snowboarding. The thing is it’s like this: skateboarding and snowboarding are like surfing, not the other way around. If you can surf, you will be able to pick up one of those things and be ok at it pretty fast. But it does not work the other way around because in surfing we have to catch the moving ramps!!! If you can’t catch the moving ramp and stand up on it, then it’s pretty hard to figure out what the hell kinds of things you ought to be doing with the rest of your body. As Ben says, “Pegasus isn’t going to sit still.”
There’s also something more philosophical about continuing to try to be better at all aspects of living. Spinoza, the thinker of the conatus, tells us that, “We don’t even know what a body can do.” This means that we have almost limitless potential for learning, growth, and virtuousness in actions. And the more we see others unlocking their potential to learn and grow, the more we gain confidence that we can do the same. I actually have a whole chapter about that in the forthcoming dissertation/book. It is not that we will not continue to make mistakes or that we’re trying to be “the best” or “perfect”. Those kinds of high ideals are bound to make us feel the depths of despair and failure. We should be satisfied if we can merely become incrementally better in our relationships to waves, others, and self. But we need help and guidance to do this. As Spinoza writes, “There is nothing more useful to man than other men.”